Welcome to HealthyParent.com!

Keeping Kids Out Of The Middle (Garber, 2008)

Parenting Coordination is a new,
alternate dispute resolution service
intended to help post-divorce co-parents to better
meet their children's needs
and to reduce "revolving door" recidivist litigation.

As of this writing, the New Hampshire legislature
has not yet passed legislation recognizing
Parent Coordination. Nevertheless, many courts throughout the state
are appointing Parent Coordinators under the judge's omnibus authority.

This page serves as a brief introduction to
the Parent Coordination process.

Developmental Psychology For Family Law Professionals (Garber, 2009)

List of co-parent
communication tools

Who can be a Parent Coordinator (PC)?

In lieu of enabling legislation in New Hampshire, there are as yet no legal restrictions on the use of the title or the qualifications of those who might advertise themselves as PCs. As always, consumers (including the courts) must be very cautious to establish the qualifications, experience and proposed process of a potential PC. This includes previewing the PC's terms and limitations as clarified in his or her initial contract for services.

See a sample of Dr. Garber's PC service agreement here

The Parenting Coordinators Association of New Hampshire (a private, non-profit organization) endorses the standards of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts in recommending that:

"A PC shall be qualified by education and training to undertake parenting coordination and shall continue to develop professionally in the role.

A. The PC shall be required to have training and experience in family mediation. The PC should become a certified/qualified mediator under the rules or laws of the jurisdiction in which he or she practices, if such certification is available.
B. The PC shall be a licensed mental health or legal professional in an area relating to families, or a certified family mediator under the rules or laws of the jurisdiction with a master’s degree in a mental health field.
C. The PC should have extensive practical experience in the profession with high conflict or litigating parents.
D. The PC shall have training in the parenting coordination process, family dynamics in separation and divorce, parenting coordination techniques, domestic violence and child maltreatment, and court specific parenting coordination procedures. .
E. A PC shall acquire and maintain professional competence in the parenting coordination process. A PC shall regularly participate in educational activities promoting professional growth. It is recommended that a PC participate in peer consultation or mentoring to receive feedback and support on cases. PC orders and/or private agreements should specify that such professional consultation is permitted."

AFCC PC guidelines p. 4; read more here

How does the process work?

1. The PC is appointed by agreement with the court's consent.
In NH, the PC can only serve when the parties have mutually agreed to participate in the process and the court has endorsed this agreement. The court's acknowledgement often is stated as a condition in the relevant parenting plan.

2. Establishing terms and limits: The service agreement.
The prospective PC will request that parties read, sign and return a written statement detailing the terms and limits of the role, including details regarding confidentiality, payment, process, and the conditions under which the PC's role may be terminated and/or the PC may resign.

Read a sample of Dr. Garber's PC service agreement

3. Process. The PC is charged with helping co-parents settle child-centered differences within the scope of the parenting plan through successive steps of education, mediation, and finally, when necessary, arbitration. PC decisions are understood to be binding unless and until a court rules otherwise. PC decisions may be summarized in writing, copy to parties, either as a condition of the role or on a decision-by-decision basis as needed.

4. Initial interviews. Dr. Garber will request at least one individual meeting with each party/caregiver so as to gather history and background and assess if and how tbest to proceed.

5. Establishing parenting and co-parenting structures. Dr. Garber may request several joint meetings with both caregivers so as to establish the basics of parenting consistency and communicatiion. These meetings and all subsequent meetings are conducted like business meetings, moving through a predetermined agenda.

What is a PC agenda?

Because PC is a child-centered, constructive process, Dr. Garber will request that each party deliver an agenda to all at least 24 hours in advance of each meeting. The agenda is a brief list of "action-able" child-centered to-do items, written out concisely and in priority order, from most important to least. See the sample PC meeting agenda at left.

6. As-needed meetings. PC meetings are usually conducted thereafter as child-centered disputes arise. Periodic check-in meetings may be arranged in an effort to minimize the opportunity for disputes to arise.

The PC process typically proceeds through three successive steps:

1. EDUCATION: Determining what factors are relevant, investigating the details of these factors and objectively weighing how this data bears on the child-centered decision.

2. MEDIATION:
The give and take process of helping two or more disputing parties agree to a middle ground.

3. ARBITRATION: When education and mediation fail, the PC is empowered to make a decision which is binding unless and until the court rules otherwise.

Parent Coordination is not therapy.

Parent coordination is a dispute resolution process which, by definition, requires that parties work toward agreement regarding many emotionally charged matters. When the PC process becomes emotionally charged, the PC will interrupt or discontinue the meeting. The PC process is conducted in a business-like, agenda oriented manner. Even though the PC may be by training a psychotherapist, he or she is not a therapist in this setting.

For these reasons,
participating parents are well advised to
establish their own private psychotherapy
as a support both for the stresses inevitably associated with divorce, conflicted co-parenting, and helping children through a difficult time and as a support for participation in the PC process itself.

Parent coordination is NOT co-parenting therapy

Is the PC process confidential?

No. By virtue of being ordered by the court and consistent with the terms of Dr. Garber's service agreement, the PC process and outcomes by agreement or through arbitration are likely to be shared at least with the court.

Please be advised, however, that enabling legislation in other states have sometimes limited or completely restricted what the PC can communicate even to the courts. It is not at all clear what the NH legislature will mandate when the state passes legislation enabling PC.

Must I have a court order?

Yes.

Pending passage of enabling legislation in NH, the courts will only order PC services by parties' mutual agreement.

Are PC decisions binding?

Yes. This is one of the variables that distinguishes the PC process from facilitated co-parenting interventions.

Read more here

Participants are always free to ask the court to review a PC decision or to address the relevant matter de novo. However, one of the conditions of PC work is that parties will abide by PC outcomes unless and until the court rules otherwise.

Sanctions for non-compliance vary on a case-by-case basis but may include allocation of costs and, at the extreme, may be reason for the PC to resign, citing the party's non-compliance.

"Do I have to meet with my ex?"

It is tragically common to find that the conditions that led to the end of a relationship and the acrimony accumulated through the divorce process have left one or both of a pair of co-parents unable to even sit in the same room to try to agree on how best to meet their children's needs. This is particularly true when one or both parties fear that the other poses a threat to safety, as when the relationship includes a history of violence.

Although the PC process is far more time and cost-efficient when co-parents are willing and able to sit together, it is possible to conduct PC business in a series of separate but parallel meetings.

PC when restraining orders exist

If there is a restraining order limiting the communication or contact between you and a co-parent, agreeing to attend a meeting with that person may invalidate the order, at least, and could expose you to prosecution for breaching the order. Always advise Dr. Garber about the existence of a restraining order and consult with trusted legal advisors before proceeding.

Please note:

If you are participating in a court-ordered or court-related psychological service, it is very important that you are fully aware of the special conditions that may limit your privacy or confidentiality.

When psychological services are provided through or in conjunction
with the court system, your confidentiality may be quite limited or non-existant. You may not have access to records or reports that concern you without court order. Information about you may be shared with others at Dr. Garber's discretion consistent with the court's order and/or relevant stipulations or agreements.

It is very important to ask Dr. Garber, your attorney and/or the court to clarify the limits of confidentiality relevant to your particular circumstance.