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Domestic Violence/ Intimate Partner Violence
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If you are in danger,
contact 9-1-1 immediately.
Safety must always be
our first priority.

The following resources are provided for
adult consideration relevant to the trauma,
recovery and family systems impacts
commonly associated with the
eruption of violence within intimate relationships.

Inclusion here does not indicate
Dr. Garber's endorsement.

New Hampshire Colaition Against Domestic and Sexual ViolenceNew Hampshire courts and DV
Books and articles on DVSocial commentary on DV
DV in same sex couplesFrequently Asked Questions
DV among teenagersDV prevention strategies

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Developmental Psychology For Family Law Professionals (Garber, 2009)

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"If All you Have is a Hammer:
Society’s Ineffective Response to Intimate Partner Violence"

Thomas L. Hafemeister (University of Virginia School of Law) has posted "If All You Have is a Hammer: Society’s Ineffective Response to Intimate Partner Violence" on SSRN.  

After millennia of condoning and even encouraging intimate partner violence (IPV), during the past few decades society has increasingly and appropriately condemned this violence and adopted multiple measures, most of them involving the criminal justice system, to limit, control, and remediate it. Considerable resources have been devoted to this effort, but the success of these programs is mixed at best. While there has been some diminishment in the overall prevalence of IPV, this likely can be attributed more to society’s somewhat improved attitudes regarding this violence than to the direct impact of these measures. The number of individuals suffering from IPV and the magnitude of its adverse consequences continue to remain staggering.

Critics of society’s response to IPV often argue that various provisions of domestic violence laws such as mandatory reporting, mandatory arrest, and no-drop policies have led to an “over-reliance on criminal strategies.” Moreover, the adoption of these measures has been driven by a few widely publicized cases. These notorious cases tend to be relatively “easy” ones where culpability and an apparent appropriate response is readily deduced in retrospect, but too great a focus on a few cases has resulted in what tends to be a one-size-fits-all approach that fails to adequately address the complexity of IPV and the range of factors and behaviors associated with it.

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This societal response can be counterproductive if it fails to adequately distinguish among or provide sufficient latitude, flexibility, and nuance for responding to the various types of IPV, as well as the diverse needs, desires, and circumstances of the victims. For example, exclusive reliance on a traditional criminal justice approach, without also empowering the victim, can diminish the victim’s feelings of self-worth and increase the victim’s isolation, dependence, and vulnerability. This is not to say, however, that traditional criminal justice remedies have no place: when an injured victim has been rendered isolated and dependent or otherwise unable to exercise their autonomy as a result of IPV, the protection and safety that can be afforded by the criminal justice system should be readily forthcoming. Additionally, the nature of the abuse and the characteristics and motivations of the abuser should be taken into account when devising a remedy. Mandatory criminal justice intervention is generally appropriate when the abuse reflects a systematic, terrorizing violence perpetrated to maintain control over the victim, but an alternative victim-directed approach tends to be better suited when the IPV involves a relatively isolated outburst of mild violence linked to circumstances that are relatively unlikely to be repeated or can be readily avoided.

In general, more emphasis needs to be placed on assessing the nature and causes of a given case of IPV and the characteristics of the parties involved. For example, an assessment should be made of whether victims understand their predicament, whether they are unable to exercise their autonomy because of isolation or dependence, and whether they have access to adequate remedial options before deciding whether the autonomy of the victim should take priority or interventions should be imposed over the victim’s objection. This approach would empower victims whenever possible to make their own choices about whether to invoke society’s assistance, educate them about the services that are available, and acknowledge that cases of IPV vary considerably and require an individualized response, while still providing protection to victims who are unable to help themselves.

Once this assessment is completed, there should be a range of programs from which to select - including a greater number of education, treatment, and rehabilitation programs - that better respond to the needs and risks particular to the individuals involved. A failure to respond appropriately to such disputes can overlook significant dangers, but can also solidify conflict and convert what could have been a temporary disagreement into a relatively intransigent one from which long-term adverse consequences result. For some cases of IPV, a more graduated, measured, inclusive, and individualized approach may better defuse an otherwise explosive situation and avoid many of the adverse short- and long-term consequences that can otherwise result.

In crafting the societal response to IPV, it should be recognized that IPV is a complex phenomenon for which the most appropriate and effective response can vary considerably. While intimate partner violence should under no circumstances be condoned, a more enlightened understanding of IPV and the factors that contribute to it can lead to a more rational, nuanced, and efficient use of society’s resources to combat it.

AC



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Domestic violence (a.k.a., "intimate partner violence")
is a pattern of abusive behavior

by one or both partners in an intimate relationship
such as marriage, family, a couple

or friends. Domestic violence can be physical, emotional,
sexual, verbal, and economic.

It is a serious problem that affects over
25 percent of women

and an unknown percentage of men in the U.S.

This following list was adapted
09.29.2010 from
http://www.christiancollegesanduniversities.com/blog/2010/20-books-to-help-women-through-domestic-violence/

  • Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free
  • This book, written by Elaine Weiss follows the journeys of 12 real women, each a victim of domestic violence. The women share their stories of abuse, escaping, reconstructing their lives and living at peace once again.

  • It’s My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence
  • Written by Roger R. Hock, It’s My Life Now clarifies the patterns and cycles that are synonymous with abusive relationships. This book also focuses heavily on moving on and offers advice on getting through an equally tough time- the healing process.

  • Violence Against Women: Philosophical Perspectives
  • This book presents an in-depth look into the causes and effects of violence against women as well as an introduction of change in regard to it. Written by, Stanley G. French, Wanda Teays, and Laura M. Purdy, this book also talks about cultural and world views from many different aspects in regards to violence against women.

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  • Understanding Violence Against Women
  • Written by Nancy A Crowell and Ann W. Burgess, Understanding Violence Against Women brings to light an overview of present facts we know about domestic violence against women while also understanding that domestic violence is still something that remains unsolved, misunderstood and often overlooked.

  • A Deafening Silence: Hidden Violence Against Women and Children
  • Written by Patrizia Romito, A Deafening Silence evaluates male violence against women and children and the lengths society goes to cover it up and put it out of sight. The book offers a guide to better understand male violence to women and children and how to prevent and fight it.

  • The Cry of Tamar: Violence Against Women and the Church’s Response
  • Written by Pamela Cooper-White, this book tells about the information and facts surrounding what types of violence against women exist and how and what the church does in response to these actions.

  • The Gift of Fear
  • Written by Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear focuses heavily on eliminating fear from your life and instead focusing on picking up on warning signs and behaviors that shape most violent offenders. Becker strongly believes that people don’t just become violent and that there are always warning signs; they should never be brushed off or ignored.

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  • Getting Played: African American Girls, Urban Inequality, and Gendered Violence
  • Written by Dante B. Gatmaytan, Getting Played presents a study on violence against young women in urban areas. The interviews compare both mens and women’s perspectives on violence as well identifies what type of females are at risk.

  • Fight Like a Girl.. and Win: Defense Decisions for Women
  • Written by Lori Gervasi, Fight Like a Girl offers great tips and strategies for fighting off an attacker or a potentially dangerous situation. While providing physical means of defense, Gervasi also highlights psychological tips for staying calm and alert in a dangerous situation, which is essentially, the most important part.

  • Shattered: Reclaiming a Life Torn Apart by Violence
  • This book re-tells the real life story of the author who was raped and abducted from her home and held captive in a home by her abductor after he shot and killer her husband. Debra Puglisi Sharp, tells of her story, the recounts she had to go through in court and her road to recovery.

  • Dangerous to Know
  • Written by Margaret Yorke, Dangerous to Know presents the true horrors of spousal abuse, mostly through emotions. The books tells of the couple that seems like the perfect match- but what happens behind closed doors- and not doing anything about it, is where the real problem lies.

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  • Batterer Intervention Systems
  • This book, written by Dr. Edward W. Gondolf presents what has been proven to work and what has not when it comes to fighting violence against women. The book outlines cases in which an abuser is likely to seek help and change- and signs to know when improvements cannot be made on behalf of the abuser.

  • When I Look into the Mirror and See You: Women, Terror, and Resistence
  • Written by Margaret Randall, this book tells the story of two women who were kidnapped, raped, and tortured and met by chance 14 years later. The story of what happened to them, how they escaped, and how they re-built their lives is explained in the book.

  • Girl in the Mirror
  • Written by Kate Ferrell, this book tells the story of a young woman who covers up the abuse she suffers at the hands of her boyfriend. After finally gathering enough strength to leave, she starts a journey to self-discovery and overcomes obstacles in her life.

  • No Safe Haven: Male Violence Against Women at Home, at Work, and in the Community
  • Written by Lisa A Goodman, No Safe Haven details studies of violence and abuse as well as harassment endured not only in the home but in and out of work as well. The books also offers information to base new laws and case studies in regards to violence.

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  • If I am Missing or Dead: A Sister’s Story of Love, Murder and Liberation
  • Written by Janine Latus, whose sister was brutally murdered by her live-in boyfriend, this book tells about the author’s own brushes with emotional and physical abuse. Letus explains what it takes to realize how important it is to leave and to save those that can still be helped.

  • Whose Face Is in the Mirror: The Story of One Woman’s Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to True Healing
  • Written by Dianne Schwartz, this book focuses heavily on the life of a battered woman- from exposing lies and cover-ups to leaving. Schwartz opens up about her denial, the battle, and the learning process in regard to domestic violence.

  • The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself
  • This book, written by Beverly Engel, a marriage and family therapist, offers women in the process of healing from domestic abuse a step-by-step recovery. Engel explains abusive situations, identifies the role the victim plays in it, then explains how get through it.

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  • No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physcial Abuse of Women by Their Men
  • Written by Dr. Mary Susan Miller, this book focuses on emotional abuse and how important and detrimental it can be. Miller explains how psychological abuse may not be physical but can still be as equally damaging and hurtful.

  • The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
  • This book, written by Patricia Evans talks about the importance of recognizing emotional abuse as a serious and just as harmful form of abuse as anything else. The books informs readers of the long-lasting and severe effects that emotional abuse can have on you.




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